what's next? Are you gonna tell me I need a I life jacket too?!?!
This all sounds like too much work...
I've decided to just bring my speedos and do some extreme whitewater swimming... That's what everybody says is going to happen anyway, so why bother with guides and equipment? I'm gonna throw in a mouth guard, jump into Lake Victoria and aim for Egypt! Plus, bodysurfing's a blast, I don't need no stinkin' boat... or that crutch called a paddle. If I drink enough cane spirit the night before, the alligators will think I taste funny and spit me out. Then when I get tired of swimming, I'll kill an alligator or two and eat their livers for extra strength and use their scrotums for booties, their testicles for buoyancy, the pelvis for a helmet and ride the carcass down the rest the river. I'll arrive in Cairo the best equipped man on the river!