UCD Canoe Club

Committee Announcements => Announcements => Topic started by: jesus_jones on December 11, 2004, 12:38:57

Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: jesus_jones on December 11, 2004, 12:38:57
UCD are pleased to announce that we shall be hosting our first Kerry table quiz on the 30th of December in the Ross Inn.

Theres going to be loads of prizes, loads of fun and we'll also be selling off our entire committee including Tom"heavenly Ankles"Bannon, Meabh"hot lips"Cryan and Emmet"Adonis"Winters Lolly"sex goddess"O'Hara and last but by no means least Claire"we think she's dreamy"Meagher
€5  per person and a maximum of 5 on a team.
(http://gallery.ucdcanoeclub.com/albums/album15/table_quiz.jpg)
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: fityounggranny on December 11, 2004, 13:58:11
Cool!!!!
does this require any actual knowledge, coz if it does we're all screwed......
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: eoghanp on December 12, 2004, 00:31:43
Quote
Cool!!!!
does this require any actual knowledge, coz if it does we're all screwed......


yes it does. im working hard on all the questions at the minute and if you wanna win your gonna have to either be really really ridiculiously smart, good-looking, rich or the perfect combination of all 3!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: fityounggranny on December 12, 2004, 12:04:26
2 out of 3...........i might have a chance.
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: cormac on December 13, 2004, 09:22:43
Dunno, seems you have trouble counting...

 :twisted:

 :wink:
Title: Questions
Post by: Greg on December 13, 2004, 10:34:15
Right Feck the Table Quiz, reckon it is rigged anyway...

What I want to know is what do I get for purchasing a member of the committee? Will they...

Buy me beer all night?
Cook me breakfast each morning?
Wash and dry thermals after each days paddling?
Carry my boat to the river?
Be a shuttle bunny?
...etc...

I need incentive before I can justify the expense, what is the incentive.
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: jesus_jones on December 13, 2004, 13:51:47
You have the purchased committee member for 20hrs and you can get them to cook and clean but if you bring them home you have to provide food for them. it's committee member dependant really I mean do you really want to put lolly in the kitchen with a raw chicken and leave her to her own devices, on the other hand would you really want me to be scrubbing your back while your having a bath?
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: kmck on December 13, 2004, 13:57:59
I'm a gambling man myself But what kind of money are we talking about cause, tom's ankles are heavenly and your locks are sweet. Plus if you want to collect committee members it might get expensive.
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: jesus_jones on December 13, 2004, 14:01:33
we're hoping for a savage bidding war
Title: best idea ever
Post by: Jenny on December 13, 2004, 16:53:28
what a feicin fantastic idea.....well done guys.....brilliant

I'm laughing my head off just thinking about it

Jenny :-)
Title: Right so
Post by: Greg on December 13, 2004, 17:50:09
Who wants to join my little franchise....

It is €2 to enter, open to anyone including committee members, you pay €2 to the central fund.  This fund will then be used to purchase a committee members by auction.  All members of the franchise can then present their thermals to this committee member who will wash, dry and iron your said thermals and present them back to you.

By the 30th your thermals will require a wash whether they have been used or not.....
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: El Diablo on December 13, 2004, 17:59:08
I presume you have asked the Ross Inn. Is the 30th not the Macra dance night?  Parts of Cormac's shirt should be the top prizes.
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: cormac on December 13, 2004, 18:02:00
Eh, how shall I put this....

Fook awfff!!!
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: jesus_jones on December 13, 2004, 18:15:47
yeah contacting the ross inn was our first port of call. The big fella had to talk to the wife and after arduous negotiation all involved were satisfied
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: meabh on December 14, 2004, 14:23:55
i would like at this point in the proceedings to pt. out that only hard cash will be accepted in return for committee members and they will not be sold for camels/ funny looking dags or for that matter to suspicious fatherly/arab types.......
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: Meabh's dad on December 14, 2004, 16:39:45
Oh well!  There goes the 'Adult Entertainment' end of my coach hire concern....

 :roll:
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: slapper on December 14, 2004, 16:50:45
Hey Mr. Dad,

i'm very surprised and disappointed with the freshers for not volunteering to help you out with your adult entertainment industry.

Surely this would have been the perfect chance for them to show up the oldies they have been so strenuously bashing of late.

I guess when you look past the big talk, the freshers aren't really up for nearly as much as they claim.

Anyway, just to help keep you in business, you can sign me up if needs be, but i don't get out of bed for less than €10,000  :wink:
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: Brendino on December 14, 2004, 16:59:53
How Ironic........... I don't get into bed for less than $10,000
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: Meabh's dad on December 14, 2004, 17:01:26
Thank you John.  I appreciate your offer, and I note that you don't get out of bed for less than €10,000.  As it turns out the Adult Entertainment wing of my coach hire concern is surrently seeking young people who will get into bed for much less than that.  If you or any of your canoeing friends would be able to help me out please reply.

I think you are right about the UCD freshers though, they do seem to be all talk.  As you know John I have also been driving for the Trinity canoeing club whose freshers seem to have much more gumption than the UCD offering.  In fact you'd be surprised what you can get a Trinity fresher to do for a bag of chips and the promise of actual cash payment next week.

I have to admit that I also share your surprise that the UCD frehsers who complain that the Oldies, whoever they are, hog all the stories are not clamouring to create some stories of their own which would be captured on video for, ah, posterity.  I imagine all of them are young, and some of them could do with the money.

Most of my films don't have much in the way of a script, so it's a shame that the freshers are all talk.
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: Meabh's dad on December 14, 2004, 17:04:39
Ah Brendan, isn't it?  I have just read your post.  I am not sure if you are making an offer there, but unfortunately finances are such that I can't stretch to that sort of money for damaged goods such as yourself.

I could offer you five camels in a rather used condition if that would suffice?  So far I have no plans to use them in the film.
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: slapper on December 14, 2004, 17:07:41
Hey Mr. Dad,

with Brendino having kindly just agreed to join the company you're really on a roll now.
Maybe if this keeps up you'l be able to  afford to buy back your eldest daughter.

Pity the freshers are still letting you down so badly. All talk, no action (bad way to be in the adult entertainment industry  :lol: )
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: Meabh's dad on December 14, 2004, 17:25:53
John I don't want you to take this the wrong way (as we say in the Adult Entertainment world) but if you've ever watched from the warmth of a hired coach as Brendino is getting changed you'll realise that I wouldn't get as much for him as you might hope.  Besides which, like house prices in Dublin, daughter prices in the Arab fella's country have shot up, so Brendino will have to do a lot of work in order for me to be able to afford to buy Meabh back.

I might put up another poll asking the canoeing club what sort of things Brendino should be doing in bed for €10,000 as the club members were very helpful when I was trying to come up with a fair price for selling Meabh to the Arab fella.

I am still new to the whole Adult Entertainment world though, and so perhaps you or some of the club could suggest things that Brendino might do and then I can put up my poll?

Thank you for your help, the tax discs are running out on all my buses.
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: slapper on December 14, 2004, 17:29:17
with the bright red sallopets he has, surely there could be some kinda 'fireman bredino' theme to get the ladies going
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: Amanda on December 15, 2004, 09:14:31
hi  :)
sorry us freshers aren't replying to your posts mr dad :(
but we are trying to do exams(help) and don't have time. sitting in the libeary talking takes up a lot of time u know.

i don't think that i my self would be a good earner for your company in it current form (being from mayo i'm a bit shy) but am very good at talking crap as u all know so would be more them happy to help


 but as we all what Meabh' home for christmas
i suggest that u hire out the male members of the club for entertainment at christmas partys or story telling.
just a though.
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: Brendino on December 15, 2004, 09:46:42
Quote from: "Meabh's dad"
I could offer you five camels in a rather used condition if that would suffice? So far I have no plans to use them in the film.


Maybe you might want to re think that.  I had a chat with the Arab fella about Camels and he gave me some rather startling information.  It seems to me that your Adult Movies would be better off with the Camels than with me.  Plus you already own them so they won't cost you a thing. Honestly, no wonder your business ventures are failing.  You need to think these things through better.



Quote
The best camel "meat" comes from young male camels although it makes for tough chewing
Extra Long Scene

Quote
Camels have the reputation of being bad-tempered and obstinate creatures who spit and kick
Feisty

Quote
The moaning and bawling sound they make when they're loaded up and have to rise to their feet is like the grunting and heavy breathing of a weight-lifter in action, not a sign of displeasure at having to do some work.
They can act.

Quote
Camels come in every shade of brown, from cream to almost black
Now there's a talant.

Quote
When a camel uses its hump, the mound becomes flabby and shrinks. If a camel draws too much fat, the small remaining lump will flop from it's upright position and hang down the camel's side. Food and a few days' rest will return the hump to its normal firm condition.
New Movie every week.

Quote
The camel has a large mouth
Well.......

And by the way
Quote
A camel's penis is called a dude

How's it goin' dude? :lol:
Title: Kerry the table quiz
Post by: Eoin on December 15, 2004, 20:32:25
Man, now I know why I wasn't allowed watch Laurence of Arabia when I was young! Next time I rent it out I won't be able to look the guy at the desk in the face...  :oops: