If you want someone cheap and not quite qualified I'll give you all the ficticious legal advice I can muster! As for the repairs, I'm sure myself and Cormac can source you someone cheap for a small percentage fee, obviously we'd iron out the small print in the back of the multi-purpose ambulance pursuit high speed legal utility vehicle (or MPAPHSLUV as it's known in the trade)
You should come across our number on the back of various public urinary deposit areas.
Yours with a smile,
Phil