For those of you who were too cheap to join and aren't on the mailing list:
My esteemed friends and colleagues.
You will all be exceedingly pleased to hear that this communication, due to complaints received over the past week, shall be composed entirely of English, without a single fictional word, phrase or expression, id est, fun is being omitted.
Now, with that business taken care of I can attend to the task at hand, that is, to inform you, my comrades, as is my duty, of forthcoming happenings in the business of our most wonderful University College Dublin Dublin Canoe Club, these being, the education of we inexperienced plebeians to the wonders of kayaking in countries outside the usual reach, in other words, outside the Pale, by paddlers of unquestionable skill and courage, who, with the assistance of most useful presentations and pictorial aids, will endeavour to enlighten and misinform us about their various wanderings and accomplishments across the globe. This evening, of tutorship and amusement will, insofar as events have, and indeed can be, delineated, will occur on Tuesday the 11th of November in the most commodious Blue Room, located, for those who remain unaware, on the first elevation of the Student Centre, superior to the Astra Hall. Proceedings will commence at 7pm, and, to add to the excitement, the obtainment of a most coveted liquor license, has successfully taken place, ergo my advice to you, my (in the season of Guy Faulkes) co-conspirators, is to come well prepared and equipped, whencesoever you may source your supplies, to enjoy some light abuse of the well known, and most revered, poison, known to those of a scientific, or more specifically, chemical, bent, as ethyl alcohol, or, in the vernacular, simply beer.
The second, and, for some, less significant, though for others, more significant, event taking place, will be a "Pre-Colours Drinks", with our well-regarded neighbours and companions, on and off the water, those Godless Protestants, from our nations most decrepit and senile college, Dublin University, Trinity College Dublin. In the spirit of friendship and continuous, courteous cross-club cooperation (not to mention curious), on Thursday, after our weekly excursions in the Sean McDermott area, in lieu of the customary trip to our most comfortable O'Neil's, we have, in a exciting development, the middle floor booked of the reputable bier hall, Messieurs Maguire's. I implore all members to attend, and have been informed of a recent influx, adding to those already present, of "smoking hot mademoiselles" into the Trinity club.
My third and final point of business is to issue a gentle, yet stalwart reminder about the upcoming Lahinch weekend away. I don't think I would be mistaken in assuring you that this trip, one of the highlights of the year, is, in the hierarchy of the import of events, quite high. To miss this particular excursion, due to non-extenuating circumstances, would be quite unwise.
Now, having accomplished the task I was set, that is, to deliver this most important information to my freshers, and, indeed, to members beyond my stewardship, I may rest, enjoy a cup of tea, and perhaps, a biscuit.
I leave you now, better informed, I hope, than I found you, in all sincerity and your most gracious servant and New Members Liaison Officer
Karen
